Fred, George, Oliver, and the Meme!
by Crime Scene Fairy
Summary: It's finally reached HP... the HARRY POTTER MEME! And I got tagged by Alister's Girlfriend. Included: Umbridge torture, Fred and George Humor, Oliver Wood, Draco Malfoy, and a lot of other random things. And the Giant Squid! Slight parody, slight crack.


**Author's Note**:Yikes! Memes on here are really getting popular! This is my second Meme (the first was for YuGiOh!, after I decided to write one after reading KoK's hilarious meme. However, I then got tagged for an HP meme by Alister's Girlfriend! Of course, I did it, and here's the end result! Craziness, and Oliver Wood-filled!

LOL, I'm somewhat more confident in my HP writing skills than my YuGiOh writing skills. At least I know that! Anyway, I don't own HP, and I hope you guys enjoy this! Remember - I'm not JK, I don't own the characters.

Please review, and if you want to do a Meme… DO IT! It's really easy, fun, and just a blast to do. Have fun, guys!

* * *

**Fred, George, Oliver, and the Meme**

* * *

**HARRY POTTER'S WRITING MEME!!!!**

**Who are you and which house do you belong in?**

"Not Slytherin! Gryffindor, hat boy, Gryffindor!"

The Sorting Hat hadn't met another quite like her in the few hundred years it had been in service. She had refused to answer to the name that McGonagall had called a few moments earlier. Instead, the brunette girl was going by the name 'Crime Scene Fairy'. "Or CSF for short," she had added.

These kids got stranger every year…

"Do you really think that you are suited for Slytherin?" the Hat asked her, musing over her mind.

"Not really. I just want to get into Gryffindor. I look better in red and gold than green in silver." CSF shrugged indifferently. "Plus, Gryffindor has all the cute guys," she added after an afterthought. "Except Draco. But Alister's Girlfriend can have him. Oliver Wood, though, is mine!"

"…I do believe you are suited for Hufflepuff…" the Hat decided after a moment, clearly about to go into a very long speech that would make you readers fall asleep…

"Why?" demanded CSF.

"Your loyalty to your friends and loved ones is quite shocking…"

"Are you talking about the time I attacked my brother 'cause he insulted my friend?"

"No, the time that you kicked your brother for calling your dog stupid."

"Ah." CSF paused for a moment. "I was six. At my grand old age now-" she started, clearly trying to do some sort of an Albus impression.

"You're a teenager," the Hat told her. Seriously, who was this girl?

"Whatever. At my teenaged age, I now write him into stories and kill him off. It's much easier." She had some sort of smile on her face, and the Hat wasn't about to question what she meant now.

"Interesting… I do believe it's Hufflepuff you should be in…" the Sorting Had continued, trying to convince the girl to trust his judgment. But the strange girl clearly wasn't having any of it.

"But Gryffindor has Oliver Wood! I love Oliver Wood!" CSF whined, pouting slightly. She wanted to be near Wood, did she? Pity the boy.

The Sorting Hat made some sort of annoyed noise. If it meant getting rid of the girl and dooming the Gryffindors, whatever. "Fine. GRYFFINDOR!" He paused a moment. "Happy now?" he asked her sarcastically.

"Just one more question." CSF paused before cocking her head, excited that the question she had since the first book was FINALLY about to be answered. "How in the infinite fandoms can you talk, anyway?"

* * *

**Who is your favorite HP character(s)?** _Answer: Oliver Wood and the Weasley Twins! And Remus is VERY close behind…_

"Oh my God! You're Oliver Wood!"

To actually have a fangirl was… surprising for Oliver Wood, to say the least. Not that the very dreamy, very handsome Scotsman was complaining, mind you! It was about time to have someone drooling all over him! He deserved more fans that he already had, dammit! It was about time.

However, the Weasley twins were still laughing about it.

Sitting on the couch of the Gryffindor Common Room, Oliver currently had the weird CSF hanging on his arm, grinning contently. Laughing on the other couch across the small space were Fred and George. There faces had long since turned as red as their hair, and Oliver was wondering if they were getting enough oxygen after laughing so hard for so long.

"This is rich," George managed to say after about twenty minutes. He grinned at CSF. "So, why do ya fancy Wood?"

"Well, what's not to love?" CSF demanded, grinning up dreamily at Oliver. "He's damn good looking, he has an accent to die for, he's athletic, he's nice, he's really sweet…"

"You've known him for twenty minutes!" Fred exclaimed, practically crying now from laughter.

CSF shrugged, and then grinned at the twins. "You both are awesome, too, though! Really funny, easy to write for, and damn good pranksters!"

"Why thank you!" the two exclaimed in unison. CSF had definitely gained some points with them by saying those amazingly kind… but completely true… things.

She grinned suddenly, still holding onto Oliver's arm. "So…" she told them. "Would you deny a fan fiction writer's help with your pranks? You'd be surprised what we can think up…"

Fred and George looked at each other. "We don't know what a fan fiction writer is…" George told her, a mischievous grin coming over his face.

"But we won't deny help!" Fred finished.

George held out a hand, which she took and shook firmly. "Welcome to the pranksters of Hogwarts!" the twins exclaimed together, as CSC shook Fred's hand.

CSF grinned. "Perfect!" she chirped. "Let the games begin!" Her grin suddenly turned malicious. "And I know just who to go after first…"

* * *

**And who is your least favorite HP characters?** _Answer: Dolores Umbridge. No questions asked._

Dolores Umbridge had left Hogwarts. And it was all thanks to Fred, George, and the strange Gryffindor, Crime Scene Fairy. Or CSF, as the rest of the school had been calling her. People were beginning to wonder where she had come from, and Umbridge had been one of those people.

She had left Hogwarts two days later.

"We've might've screwed up the rest of the 5th book," CSF told Fred and George at breakfast one day, a grin on her face. "But it was worth it! May Umbridge fall into a black hole!" She cackled.

Fred had a huge grin on his face, ignoring her one comment. She tended to say senseless things like that at any time of the day. Fred had grown used to it. "So, what did you do?" he asked her.

"What do you mean?"

George frowned at her. "What did you do to get Dolores to go all psycho?" he asked. "Seriously!"

"Well, she was already psycho. I just pushed that crazy cat lady over the edge." CSF had a smile on her face as she was eating her breakfast, but the twins could see a crazy glint in her eyes.

"With what?" Fred asked, raising an eyebrow.

CSF grinned. "I just showed her what happens in some fanfics to her. Especially the ones where she dies. You'd be surprised how easy it is to find those."

"Anything else?"

"Well…"

"Spit it out!" Fred exclaimed, staring at her.

CSF shuddered as she remembered the fics that she had shown Umbridge. "I showed her the Umbridge/Harry fics. They're good enough to make any sane person go crazy… they were able to give me nightmares for a week."

* * *

**PAIRINGS!**

**Who is your most favorite pairing(s) in the book?** _Answer: Remus/Tonks_

She was heartbroken. She had told him, the love of her life, that she was carrying his son. And he was scared. He had run away. Her husband had run away, just after she had told him that she was pregnant. She wasn't ashamed.

She, Nymphadora (seriously, what had her mother been thinking when she had come up with that name?) Tonks Lupin was pregnant with Remus J. Lupin's son. And she had never felt more ashamed in her life.

Remus was afraid because of this. She couldn't blame him. They were in the middle of a war, and she was just now pregnant with a baby. She didn't want her child to get hurt. She would be damned before she let her child get hurt, she truly would. She was going to do anything possible to protect her child.

"I'm sorry."

Tonks whirled around, staring in shock at the man in the doorway. Remus looked like he had been doing some serious thinking in the last few hours. He looked older than he had in years… almost as old as he had looked when Sirius had been killed. Remus took a deep breath, and then smiled shakily at her.

"I love you," he whispered. "This child is a blessing. We'll get through this. We'll raise our child… together."

Together.

Tonks liked the sound of that.

* * *

**And who's your least favorite pairing in the book?** _Lavender/Ron. DIE, LAVENDER, DIE!_

"So, why did you attack Lavender?" Oliver asked at breakfast one morning.

Randomly, after seeing Lavender Brown wink at Ron Weasley, had violently attacked the girl, and had tried to feed the annoying gossip to the Giant Squid… who strangely enough seemed to like CSF. Oliver hadn't been surprised. The girl was strange. Sure, he liked her well enough, but her clinging to him was only too fresh a memory in his mind.

CSF scowled as she stabbed violently at a potato on her plate. "Because," she answered shortly.

"Because why?"

"She's a total annoying little brat, and a gossip! Plus, she's SO annoying in the 6th book!"

"… are there any reasons that will make sense to me?"

"No. Not really. Just go with my answer, and smile and nod… and then I won't send you or anybody else into the infinite fandoms."

"…"

"Don't ask."

"Fine by me."

* * *

**Favorite pairing(s) that's not in the book?** _Answer: Luna/Neville. THEY WILL LIVE IN MY HEART FOREVER!_

"What do you think of Dobby?"

Neville blinked at his wife of three years before raising an eyebrow at the silvery blond, glancing down at her swollen stomach. "Dobby Longbottom?" he repeated, staring at his pregnant wife.

Luna Lovegood-Longbottom nodded dreamily at her husband. "Dobby Neville Longbottom," she murmured dreamily, smiling that incredibly cute, yet dazed smile. "After Harry's friend. The house elf from Malfoy Manor. He saved my life." It was clear from the look on her face that she was thinking about the war, a few years ago.

Neville thought for a moment. If it had not been for that brave, incredible house-elf who had wanted to be freed, then Harry Potter would have died. Neville would have never been able to slay Nagini. Voldemort would have won the war. The whole wizarding world would have fallen apart, eventually.

It was the least the elf deserved.

"Dobby Longbottom," repeated Neville. He smiled. "I like it."

* * *

**Now your least favorite pairing(s) that's not in the book?**

Anything Umbridge. Can't stand her, never will, may she die in any and all stories that I write. I'm sorry, I just hate the toad. She creeps me out.

… at least until the movie with all the pink and the cats.

After that, she scares me.

* * *

**Who or what do you enjoy writing most about?**

"Whoa!"

Fred and George were reading the piece in shock, blinking in amazement. Seriously, who was CSF?! They had been looking around for her, and had found her notebook in the Common Room. After reading it, they had discovered that it was a notebook filled with stories… mostly about Oliver!

"Oi, Oliver!" Fred called to him as he passed the twins. "You've gotta see this, mate!"

"What now?" Oliver asked warily, raising an eyebrow at the two. Knowing the looks on their faces, it couldn't be good.

"Take a look at this, mate!" George exclaimed, grinning. He shoved the notebook into Oliver's hands.

The handsome Scotsman read the notebook, a raised eyebrow on his face. After a few moments, his face had completely turned pale. He didn't seem to be breathing after a few minutes.

"She's a bit more than a fan, ain't she Oliver?" Fred asked, grinning.

"You're her hero, Ollie!" George added cheerfully.

"HOW DID YOU TWO FIND MY NOTEBOOK!?"

The next thing that George and Fred knew, they were trying to fight off both a very livid CSF and her new best friend… the Giant Squid, who she had apparently been carrying in her purse. How had she fit the Squid in her purse, anyway?! Who was this girl?

Oliver, while the hilarious scene was taking place nearby, was just staring into space. Wow. She really liked him, didn't she?

The answer is very simple, dear readers.

Yes. Yes, she did.

* * *

**Who or what do you find difficult to write about the most?**

"Hey, does this seem logical?"

George frowned at CSF one day in potions class. Somehow, she had truly messed up the seating arrangements for Snape, and he was stuck next to Oliver's crazy female stalker. He was still being a little wary about her after a few days ago, when she had set the Giant Squid on him and Fred.

"What seems logical?" George asked, a little sarcastically. "The fact that you're writing stories about Oliver where he totally saves the day, or the fact that the Giant Squid fits in my backpack."

"One. I can write what I want in fanfiction, dang it! Two. That was a momentary lapse of judgment for me. My books were so wet after that… but I think I'm going to work the Giant Squid into one of my other stories. He's so cool!"

"What did you want, anyway?"

"Does Snape wearing a pink fedora seem logical?"

"… what do you think?"

"Alright. Thanks for that."

"Why did you ask?"

"Just to get your reaction. Plus, I'm working on my stories being logical for their fandoms." She shrugged. "But I should've seen Snape wearing pink as illogical."

"You think?"

Snape, sitting at his desk, raised an eyebrow at the female. Seriously, who was this girl? She had better be gone soon, or else Snape was going to go mental. She was probably crazier than the Marauders had been! He had one thanks for what he had learned.

Thank God that the Marauders had never learned about fanfiction.

* * *

**Group Photo! You in the middle, but who else is in it?**

"Okay, um… Ollie, you stand in the back. Lupin, get in the back, too. Sirius, James, Snape, don't try and kill each other, yet. You can get back to doing that later on. Ron, you in the back, too."

"… you do realize that most of these characters are dead, right, CSF?"

"Of course I do, Ollie. But after Sirius died, dear JK Rowling seemed to be killing off all of my favorite characters. So, I'm basically throwing canon away now, and writing this piece that Alister's Girlfriend tagged me in. So, I can have fun, and ignore canon!"

"Alister's Girlfriend!? You mean that one who was setting rat traps in the Slytherin Common Room?!"

"Yep, the very same! Who can blame her - Pettigrew can go and get stepped on by a giant for all I cared! But as for Alister's Girlfriend, she's one of my favorite authors on the site, and the reason you're all stuck with me! Now, shut up, Draco, and just bare with me! Alright, everyone, smile!"

"CHEESE!"

FLASH!

…

"FRED! You blinked. Alright, everyone, one more time…"

* * *

**Now write yourself as if you were Harry Potter!**

"… mind if I say something, CSF?"

"Shoot, Fred."

"Black hair does not go with your skin tone. Harry has green eyes, not brown."

"They're not brown! The left one is hazel, the other one is dark brown. I'm heterochromatic, dang it, get it right! My eyes are not brown!" A pause. "Besides, I'm broke. Can't get colored contacts, considering I already wearing contacts…"

"… and heterochromatic in English is, exactly?"

"I have two different colored eyes, genius. Gosh, use context clues!"

"… but seriously. Why are you dressed as _Harry Potter_?"

CSF frowned and shrugged as she tried to draw a lightning bolt on her forehead with a black magic marker. "I don't know! I'm just doing what the meme says to do!"

Fred shook his head. "Seriously, how much longer are you here?"

"Getting tired of me?"

"CSF."

"… there's only a few questions left! We're way past halfway!"

"Hallelujah!"

* * *

**If you would be so kind as to write a little oneshot that includes Draco?**

Destiny was laughing at them. Draco was positive of that. Destiny had started laughing at Draco the moment that Scorpius had come home during Christmas Break of his fifth year, and announced, blushing furiously, that he was dating Lily Potter and was head-over-heels in love with him.

Ten years later. They were married. Thirteen years later - now - and Draco was waiting to meet his granddaughter, the daughter of Lily Luna Potter and Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, and the little sister of Sirius Albus Black. Nymphadora Molly Weasley was going to be a very much loved little girl…

But dang, was she born into a controversial family.

On her father's side, she was born into a family of darkness. On her mother, she was born into a family of light. Villains and heroes. Dark and light. Evil and good. Polar opposites. And Nymphadora was born into that family.

Draco's thoughts went back to his granddaughter as he heard Lily talking with Draco's wife, and Scorpius's mother. Scorpius sat nearby, two-year-old Sirius on his knee, giggling as Scorpius played with him, one of Sirius's favorite toys in his hand.

"We're going to call her Nymphie," Lily explained to Astoria, who was grinning at the baby girl in Draco's arms. "My dad came up with the nickname…"

Then it hit Draco. No matter how much destiny laughed at them, no matter what they went through, Nymphie and Sirius would be loved.

So destiny could laugh all it wanted.

By now, Draco didn't care.

* * *

**Who do you prefer? Good Guys or Bad Guys?**

"Do you ever feel like you can sympathize with Slytherins?"

Harry blinked as he glanced at CSF. Fred, George, and Oliver had dumped the strange girl off on him, so he wasn't sure what to expect with her. But this question had come just out of the blue. But then again, this was the girl who had set the Giant Squid on the twins. He was pretty sure he could expect anything from her.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

CSF shrugged, chewing on a piece of gum. "I mean… think about it. Something happened to the Death Eaters to make them that way, right? Something happened to them to fall farther than before." She shrugged. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You just asked me one."

"Seriously."

"Go ahead."

CSF sighed. "If Voldemort hadn't been raised in that orphanage… if his mother and father had raised him… do you think that he would have grown up to fall as far as he did? Do you think he would have been just Tom Riddle… or would he have become Lord Voldemort still?"

Harry stared at her hard for a minute before shaking his head. "I don't know," he managed to reply. "I really don't."

CSF watched him for a moment, and then grinned at him. "Didn't think that I could get that deep, did you?"

"Not really, no."

"Well, I can. Especially when my Honors English class is reading Romeo and Juliet. Then, I get really deep."

"…Alright, then. That explains a lot."

"Yes. Yes it does."

* * *

**Now point your wand at someone… IMPERIO!**

I don't know anyone here, really, since it's been so long since I wrote Harry Potter, so I tag… _**YOU**_! Do one of these, they're a blast!

* * *

**Author's Note:** There you guy, Alister's Girlfriend! She's the one who tagged me to do this, so here it is! Hope ya enjoy it, Alister's Girlfriend, and go read her Harry Potter Meme, guys. It's great, especially for all of you Draco fans! Oh, and I mentioned you in here, Alister's Girlfriend, I think you can figure out where. ;)

Please review, guys! Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
